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Ive only gone into detail slightly here about what the "Paleo" diet entails because I figure if you dont know, youll find out somewhere else with far more accurate and serious information. I mean, shit, have you SEEN my "About" section?? Anyway, put very simply, the "Paleo" diet adheres to the way our Paleolithic ancestors ate. A lot of people believe dairy (i.e., cheese, milk, yogurt, etc.) is not a "paleo" approved food. A lot of people are also uninformed and willing to believe whatever theyre told at face value, so ya know, theres that. I dont mean to suggest dairy was part of a Paleolithic diet, but there is evidence that suggests dairy (in its raw, full-fat, grass-fed form) can 100% be incorporated into ones "Paleo" diet, assuming it sits well with that person, because it doesnt with everyone. Im sure even some of you can attest to some form of lactose intolerance. After all, we really dont need the help of milk in our diet after age four. But this isnt a discussion of science (you can find plenty of it elsewhere). Its a discussion of what I choose to eat. And I choose to eat cheese sometimes, because its fucking delicious and sometimes you want some goddamn cheese!
So, some people recently have been giving me shit about including dairy in foods labeled "paleo" or "Whole30," but the truth is the dairy subject is very grey territory in the broader discussion, which is why it pisses me off to no end that these "Paleo" elitists get all pedantic and self-righteous about people who do choose to include it in their diet. These people who are supposed to be more enlightened about what they eat and where it comes from, who, in the end, are no different than an oppressive group of bullies and judgers who would rather eradicate someone elses way of doing things than to simply live beside it in acceptance (hence where I got the "Paleo" Nazi thing from).

EDIT: Theres actually a name for the disordered eating of people who have a beyond healthy obsession with consuming what they perceive to be healthy foods. Its called Orthorexia, and I wouldnt be surprised if many "Paleo" Nazi types suffered from it. Its a good way to kill 20  minutes if youve never heard of it before.

And that, my friends, is why Im no longer associating myself or my recipes with the word "Paleo/Whole30." I dont have a lot of tolerance for people who dont have a lot of tolerance, and I really dont give two shits what anyone else chooses to eat. Unless, of course, its babies, and then I would feel obligated to have an opinion/intervene.

Dont be mistaken--Ill continue to eat the way Ive been eating for the past two or so years (long before any of these elitists probably even heard of the Paleo diet, Im sureeee, said the hipster), but Im removing the words "Paleo" and "Whole30" from my vocabulary. Id like to do something grandiose here and start a movement where you all commit to do the same, but Im not that influential. Yet.
I wish I had a great word to replace it with, like Dragnificent, or something, but Im still marinating on it. If youve got some Dragnificent suggestions, though, leave em in the comments! Until them, Im either going to refer to it as "clean," "gluten free," or simply whatever it is. Not entirely helpful, but you get the idea.
To that end, I made these, er...um..., CLEAN, GLUTEN FREE cookies! And just like the ravioli from Monday, I am super excited to share these with you for the following reasons:

1. They actually taste like real cookies.
2. They literally have no flour. Like, none...not even almond or coconut flour!
3. There are only a handful of ingredients, many of which you probably have lying around. Therefore, you should make them tonight.

Served alongside a nice cold glass of Almond Milk (see, I actually DO have limits when it comes to dairy--not that I care if you dont!), these are all the cookie and judgment you need.

Theres really nothing particularly unusual about this za. Its topped with marina (sugar and soy free, of course), pepperoni, mushrooms, olives, and lots of mozzarella (which isnt technically paleo, but Im weening myself, here!!). All the "paleo" in the pizza is coming from the crust, made entirely from cauliflower and mozzarella.
 See?? It even LOOKS like crust:
 Cus I like to keep it rull witchall, I will say it doesnt taste like the traditional pizza dough we all know, love, and curse our thighs about. But it is REALLY good! I mean, its cheesy, herbed cauliflower baked into a bread-like crust. You literally cant NOT like it. And if you dont, my guess is you dont have a soul.

I imagine Ill be making iterations of this non-stop over the next several weeks.

Cauliflower Pizza Crust For People Who Have Souls
Makes one pizza crust, roughly 8 large slices

• 1 head cauliflower
• 2 cups mozzarella cheese
• 1-2 eggs, beaten 
• 1 tsp. oregano
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. pepper

These cookies have a slightly cakey texture compared to the classic version because I made it from memory and changed a few proportions of things, but theyre still amazing. I suppose you could even bake them in a muffin tin, but I prefer eating cookies to muffins. Feels more like a treat to me that way.

• 1 cup unsweetened almond butter
• 1/2 cup raw honey
• 1 egg
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp salt
• half an apple, diced (use something sweet like Fuji or Gala)
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp ground cloves
• 1/8 tsp nutmeg
• 1 tsp fresh ginger, grated on a microplane